Emotional Reflection Theory©

= a way to learn from the NOW

There are many ways to be in the NOW, and the way we see, think and feel is what creates the NOW. To look at the existing way of being in the NOW with awareness creates the possibility to learn and to change.

Main purpose of the Theory is to guide the individual to be aware of own being in the NOW and to take responsibility for change needed in regard to setting oneself free to live an authentic life. It is all about finding the individual and vulnerable core of WHO WE ARE, and that is challenging to most of us.

Challenges in the NOW are the most important learning to human evolution!

The theory contains a simple toolbox to implement in daily life for the individual so challenges can be handled in the most appropriate way and therefor improve emotional wellbeing and add meaning to life in the NOW.

Access to change in the NOW is our reaction patterns, but a PRESENT stimulus in the NOW awakens PAST shocks and traumas in our subconscious mind living as a PRESENT situation and influence our emotions and thoughts leading to a PRESENT inappropriate reaction pattern.

The ide with the theory is, that we do not have to understand what the shock or the trauma is behind the reaction, but it is possible to “overwrite” past shocks and traumas in the now by coping with the challenge and showing the subconscious mind and nervous system, that there is no present danger.

Challenge creates a
stimulus that awakens
a past shock or trauma


Shock and trauma lives
in the now as a present
experience in the
nervous system


Emotions are awakened
in the now and not
knowing why it leads to
thoughts and reaction


Reaction in the NOW is
inappropriate when a
subconscious shock or
trauma has awakened

The theory is a self assessment tool to implement in the now and can be used professionally both one to one and one to many, whatever your call is for ERT-Education.

Main Modules in the Emotional Reflection Theory


Who am I? This is probably one of the most frequently asked questions, to which an unambiguous answer has not yet been found.

There is not one answer, and the chance increases to find answers if focus is on process rather than the end goal. The process of answering the question of ‘who am I’ lies in experiencing oneself – but it is not easy for several reasons.

In general we live from fear of:
1 - not being good enough
2 - not being accepted
3 - not being part of the community
4 - loosing love

What often happens in this process? We lose ourselves and simply forget who we are. We are born as individuals with our own core, our emotions and our vulnerability. Throughout our upbringing and experiences in life, we build a personality around our individual core trying to fit into the community.

Therefore, the personality must be challenged to get back to the true individual core of being. The answer to: Who am I?



Courage is the key to find the individual core, because it takes courage to stop and notice all layers of inappropriate thoughts, emotions and reaction patterns that have become part of the personality throughout a lifetime.

This model assists in the daily work, and serves as a reminder of the work with challenges and adversity that reflects in business, sport and in life.

It is reminiscent to stop and clean up negative thoughts, emotions and inappropriate reaction patterns. Through a process of considering the acquired personality there is a possibility to get back to the individual core.

For example anger is often used subconsciously, to cover up the true vulnerable emotions in the individual core. The inappropriate reaction pattern, learned over a long period of time, is something that does not change from day to day.

The solution is to find the courage and let go of what is acquired to the personality through life. Decide what is to leave behind and what to bring fort in life. This way, the personality is cleaned up and only that which supports the individual and authentic core is brought into the present.

Create a courageous and authentic core not affected by the opinions and attitudes of others. Then you can look up, believe in yourself, fill up and add meaning to life.



Emotions are a crucial element for us to experience our individual core. The challenge is that many grow up with well-meaning words like "shhh not so angry" or "shhh not so sad". This means that throughout our upbringing we have been subconsciously taught to hide the emotions.

When the personality subconsciously hide the emotions, it is difficult for many adults to feel and act according to the emotions. This needs to change because emotions tell us how we feel, what we need, and when to set boundaries in order to take care of the true vulnerable individual core.

Not setting boundaries is the main reason for stress and dissatisfaction and it needs to be changed. Therefore it is important to understand suppressed emotions and work with the 5 basic emotions: Fear, Anger, Grief, Envy and Love

Why 5 basic emotions?
1 - To simplify the complexity in emotions
2 - Every emotion can be traced back to the 5 basic emotions



Gratitude is crucial when working with courage because it calms the nervous system.

This model shows the important connection between the 4 concepts of courage, trust, gratitude and patience. This means that building courage takes time and therefore requires patience. At the same time, there must be trust both in the learning process and own necessary personal resources. Overall gratitude is crucial for learning to occur because it calms the nervous system, and it creates room to overcome fear and build courage.

Build Courage + Overcome Fear = Experience Individual Authenticity


We are grateful to provide information about Emotional Reflection Theory and the ERT-Education